Her cheeks hurt even though all she had was his voice that came through the phone. But it was enough to make her happy. So happy that she couldn’t stop smiling. Only the thought that his voice was the only thing she had for the next ten days could diminish a little bit of that smile.
His voice was all she had from him. His voice, a jacket and the deep longing after his touch.
When she closed her eyes, she thought she could almost feel the softest of soft lips on hers. She remembered how gentle his kisses were, so tender, filled with all the feelings he had for her. She could feel her heart getting faster with the thought alone. A little smile tucked on the edge of her lips. She loved his kisses, the delicate ones as much as the more wilder, demanding ones, when she knew he wanted more.
Then she remembered his touch, the feeling his warm hands left, when they wandered up and down her sides. How she felt a shiver down her spine when his breath touched her ear. How his fingers almost mindlessly found their way beneath her shirt and how his fingertips danced on her naked skin, sent their warmth in her body.
The craving after his touch grew stronger, but all she could do was to pull his jacket closer around her, bury her face in it and smell the last few bits of him that were left. But she couldn’t even start to compare it with a simple hug from him.
Nothing in the world felt better than his arms around her, pulling her as close as possible. When she could feel his special warmth that radiated from his body, that made her feel safer than anything else. His arms, his presence, his scent, his touch, his voice, it all meant so much to her. It meant protection, not only from the world but from her thoughts as well. It meant calmness, that made her feel like everything was okay and everything would be okay, no matter what. It meant to be loved, for everything she was and without question, even though her brain sometimes wanted to tell her otherwise. It meant bliss and it promised happiness, joy, hope and laughter. Being in his arms meant being home, with all the different meanings of it.
But now he was so far away, unreachable and she suddenly felt cold. The warmth of his jacket could never be the same as the warmth of his body. Her hand reached for her neck, it was a habit. To play with her necklace when she felt uneasy. It took her a few seconds to realize it wasn’t there and then she remembered. She gave it to him. And as always she couldn’t resist the urge to wonder if he ever looked at it. If he ever went and retrieved it from wherever he kept it safe, just to hold it, look at it, maybe think about her. Or if it just stayed hidden, a silent companion that kept him safe. Not that it would make any difference, she was just curious.
“What are you thinking?”
His voice brought her back to reality. She shuffled around beneath the blanket, looked at the stars and smiled. How could she not smile at the sound of his voice. It was all she had from him at the moment and while she wished she had more, it was way more than needed to make her so happy that her cheeks hurt.
“I just realized how much I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
[first posted on Tumblr on snippetsofwritings on September 12th, 2018]
— Dezember 1, 2019